Matt Heath: A few whoppers to tell your Brit visitors

Nothing makes you feel better about Auckland than showing it to a visitor from Britain. They love the place. We love it too. Sure It can be annoying at times. The odd bit of traffic, endless roadworks, a thousand dollars a beer. But overall it's great. The beaches, volcanoes, flora and the climate rule.

International studies love us too. Every couple of weeks New Zealand and or Auckland are listed near the top of a world survey. Happiest, least corrupt, best looking, greatest love makers. Every list of positives in the world has us at or near the top.

Most recently Auckland was deemed the third most liveable city in the world. Go kiwi. I'm not sure how credible these studies are. Don't care. They make me feel great about myself, my country and my city. Sadly the rest of New Zealand doesn't agree. They hate us and they slag us off. To each other, to our faces and worst of all to tourists and visitors. It's treason.

My sister and her English partner came to stay last week. Neither had been to Auckland. They had spent a week in the South Island before they arrived and from what they had heard, they were expecting a hell on earth. Apocalyptic traffic, terrible weather, debilitating pollution, grumpy people. A massive over crowded nasty smelly rat hole. The classic South Island myth that Auckland is crap.

My English visitors were shocked to find a leafy sub tropical paradise. 'This is Southern California' said Rob my English brother-in-law.

'Where's all the traffic?' added my lovely sister Imogen. 'How come it's so warm up here and so cold down south?', they both asked. 'Shall we go to the pub?' they suggested. ''Great food'. 'Friendly service'. 'Such a relaxing town', 'Great beer selection'. 'Another drink?'.

The positive comments and questions kept coming and coming. Turns out Aucklanders have a lot in common with the English. We both love warm weather, leaves on trees, beaches, happy people and drinking outside.

The rest of the country likes to believe that Auckland is one big overpriced traffic jam. I grew up in Dunedin. I used to believe that too. Many of my kind hate it so much they won't even visit. They hate it without seeing it.

On our Radio Hauraki Breakfast show the other day my co host Jeremy Wells played a word association game. He asked people south of Bombay to say the first thing that came into their heads when he said 'Auckland'. 'Traffic' was the main response. Sometimes house prices, sometimes tossers but mainly traffic.

People from truly internationally congested cities laugh at our pathetic congestion. They think it's quaint. I'm not saying we don't have a traffic problem. Try driving down Dominion Rd on a Saturday arvo. Our traffic is super bad in New Zealand terms. Terrible for a city of our size. But try LA, New York, Bangkok, London or even Sydney. Shanghai, Hong Kong. We have nothing on those guys. Yet half the country won't even visit Auckland because of the traffic. Classic.

If you want to get British visitors really juiced up take them to Waiheke Island. The ferry ride over is an experience in itself.

Become a proud tour guide. They love it. 'Rangitoto last blew up 50 years ago', 'The All Blacks swim to Motuihe Island and back everyday'. 'There are 8 metre tall giant Moa still living in the Coromandel'. It feels good to share your local knowledge with eager travellers.

'Our sun will burn you alive' is a piece of knowledge you should definitely share with them. There are few things redder on this earth than a pasty Brit two days into a kiwi holiday.

International studies rate our city highly. Overseas visitors love the place too. We Aucklanders love the place. Our children love growing up here. The only people who don't rate Auckland are everyone else in New Zealand. I guess all we can do is battle on. Muck through up here in paradise. Warm, happy and loved by the world.

This article was first published on nzherald.co.nz and is republished here with permission.