Matt Heath: My weird day at the pink ball test

Radio Hauraki breakfast host and Alternative Commentary Collective commentator Matt Heath breaks down day one of the first Black Caps test v England at Eden Park.

Day One. Crazy, crazy times. The first day/ night pink ball test in New Zealand was always going to be historic. But what we got defied logic. The Alternative Commentary Collective calling an alternative cricket universe on Sky and iheartradio.

It was a beautiful thing. Lovely Trenty Trent Boult and The Sexy Camel Tim Southee ripping through the English. One of the best dwell bowling spells in the history of the game. Arousing stuff. Both in a sexual and sporting sense.

My dad was at Eden Park with his Dad for New Zealand's infamous all out for 26 in 1955. I've been hearing about it my whole life. With England 23/8 in the 14th it looked like we might finally get our revenge.

Sadly we didn't quite get there. But it was still a dream. So much so I had to ask co -commentator Jeremy Wells to pinch me. He refused. Luckily Scotty Stevenson was keen.

He pinched my inner thigh. James McConie slapped me round the face. Mike Lane punched me in the arm then pulled my boxes up from behind forcing them into my backside. It really hurt. But I didn't care. Because it turns out it was all real. Weirdness upon weirdness.

The ACC broadcasting the pink ball from the Beefy Botham Box a top the Northern Stand at Eden Park. A majestic broadcasting booth built just for the great Sir Ian Botham. It's an absolute privilege to be in here for the next 5 days (or more likely 2). You can still smell the great man. A beautiful trouty wine tinged musk with a bit of devilled sausage thrown in the mix. I can only imagine how the legendary english all rounder would have reacted to his teams performance today. The beefy botham box may not have survived. England all out for 58. Hard to believe. Lovely Trenty with career-best figures of 6-32. The Sexy Camel on fire 4-25. What a time to be alive.

Get your arse to Eden Park if you can. If you can't tune in on iheartradio or press the yellow button on your sky remote for full ACC coverage.

This article was first published on nzherald.co.nz and is republished here with permission.